At the beginning of every year we have a tendency to create these resolutions that we plan to execute. We get all excited for this “new year new me” mentality that we plan on having through the course of the year. January 1, 2018 mine was to remain single and work on my relationship with God. I wanted to build a solid foundation and fall in love with him so deeply that my life partner had to seek God just to find me. To be honest, I was off to a great start. I distinctly remember praying to the lord asking him not to send my life partner to me or anywhere near me until HE felt I was ready. The year started out great. I was doing good for a minute and then things got a little shaky and fell off. Let’s be honest we all do sometimes.
After spending too much time on social media and spending time with others and going on dates I realized that I wanted love so desperately for myself that I caught myself beginning to compromise. Being single became taboo. I fell in love with the thought of being in love and getting married that I was even thought about compromising my own beliefs for a second. God quickly got me all the way together though. Before I could act on anything, he reminded me of the prayer I prayed in the beginning of the year. He reminded me that my faith is the substance of the things I hoped for and the evidence of the things I cannot see. Some of us have been through or are going through the same thing. We can’t keep going in cycles sis.
I am here to let you know that it is worth the wait. No one is worth uprooting all that God has been doing in you just for a moment of pleasure and satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with being single and waiting for the one God designed just for you. Now by no means am I saying that we all should be in waiting because a love, relationship, much less marriage may not be in God’s plan you.
As God works on your modern day Boaz, here are some things to do while you wait:
Seek after God PERIODT ! Now don’t get me wrong this is something you should be doing already. Matthew 6:33 states seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things will be added. In a society thriving off of instant gratification it is human nature to go after the things that we desire first. When we put God first in everything we do we allow him to move in areas of our lives that we thought would never change. Use this time to get to know God for yourself. Don’t wait for the Sunday sermon or the mass text message with the scripture of the day. Spend time in the word. Seek him because you want to know him and not because you need something from him.
Strengthen yourself. Be willing to accept whatever comes and know that after you have waited that is when the battle now begins because you have to continue in prayer and fasting. You continue to get to know that person until death do us part. Being in the will of God does not mean there will be no problems in the relationship. Jesus was in the will of God when he went to the cross.
Take your time, don’t rush. We live in a time where there is all this pressure to be in a relationship, to get married and then to have babies. We put ourselves on these unrealistic deadlines and try our best to follow them through to fruition but when things don’t go as planned we get all out of sorts. Everything takes time and patience. There is a time and place for everything and in order to step into your next season, God has to work somethings out with you first and make sure that you are in the right position to receive your life partner. As “Lady in Waiting” put it, developing patience is hard. Getting married ahead of God’s timing is worse.”
Write down your dating standards. According to Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones in “Lady in Waiting” , writing your standards down as you go is not the best thing to do while you are in a relationship because emotions are now involved which can be tricky. Instead, write them down while you are single, commit them to God in prayer regularly and watch him work. This list of standards will help you to stay the course and resist the temptation. Here are some examples…… “I will ONLY date a God fearing man growing in the faith.” “I will focus on building a friendship first rather than focusing on the romance.” “We will spend time together in public where other people are around us.”
Marriage is not a destination or a goal. Growing up, as girls we were groomed to be wives. We planned out our wedding down to who was making the food and got so excited at the process of planning a wedding that we forget about what happens once the day is done. Marriage is a journey and it takes work. It is a process you continuously work on day after day. It is not all unicorns and rainbows. When we understand that, we lessen the chances of being disappointed and frustrated with the process of waiting.
Read Lamentations 3:25-27) to see how you can develop patience in this time of waiting.